Inner Kid Connection: The Sensitive Inner Child

As I've stated in a previous post, inner kids are sensitive. If you do have, or have had, or have known someone who has an active inner child, you've probably already noticed that they are sensitive creatures.

This is because inner children are usually born from trauma in our lives. At some point, each of us was hurt and an inner kid grew out of that pain. They are in some ways blocks of emotions to which we assign personality and (if we role play) a back story intended to support their personhood as a character.

Roleplays like Birchwood Isle treat inner children as though they are characters. If we look at a "character" as a creation in the mind of a writer (or even an actor) then we run the risk of treating inner kids as though they are two-dimensional strings of words on a screen or a paper. This might be acceptable in other role play settings, but in an age play group, we have to treat one another with greater sensitivity than we would if the characters were two-dimensional and not damaged pieces of ourselves.

Most of us remember to treat our own inner kids with care, but it's easy to forget that another person's inner kid is as important as our own is. Today I'd like to admonish everyone reading to consider every emotionally real inner they find as being as important as their own, and do not hesitate to treat them with the same respect with which you'd like to be treated. Every one of these "characters" is born from trauma, abuse, or abandonment, and they have a right to be sensitive.

This is a good time for me to stress that it is especially important to understand why Birchwood Isle asks that each of the inners on our site (whether child, teen, or adult) be able to rely on their "keeper." Some people refer to this as the "big," but since we recognize that adults have their place in our mental universes as well, even they should be able to rely on us to keep them safe from the bad things in the world.

No world is perfect: Not even Birchwood Isle. I don't think that we'd want it that way, because I believe that in order to heal, the world has to be a natural one that makes sense to the people who live there. But when conflicts arise, you must be able to care for and protect your inners. 

Nobody else can do this for you, but we should attempt to be forgiving, generous, and gentle with one another to help fill that gap.

Residential Quadrants on Birchwood Isle

We envision Birchwood Isle as a quaint and homey small town spread out over roughly half of a privately-governed island in the North Atlantic.

The inhabited half of the island is divided roughly into four main quadrants: The Northern Isle (middle class), the Eastern Isle (upper classes), the Southern Isle (farmlands, ranches, and homesteads), and the Western Isle (lower classes). Originally the Western Isle was devoted as reserved lands for the Piper clan, but that has since changed. 

Recently we've altered the way that we handle the class system on Birchwood Isle (something which will come up soon in one of our Weekly Roleplay Tips, so watch out for it!) in order to encourage people to branch out and make some more unusual selections for their characters. The Eastern Isle has begun to grow too much and we'd like to divert some of these characters into other social classes.

It's difficult to categorize people, and so we've generally filtered people into residential areas at the request of the players. this results in a large number of "wealthy" characters and fewer "poor" characters. We wanted to make things more interesting, so we've further divided these quadrants into two halves each.

From now on, it will look like this:

Upper Class (wealthy) residents will live on the Eastern Isle where it borders the coast and the Northern Isle. This means that some of these residences will be "beach front" while other residences in this section will be set into the woods. Homes in this quadrant will have spacious lawns with larger home buildings. No home will be within shouting distance of its neighbors, and these homes will always be single-family homes (i.e. no condos, townhomes, or apartments in this area).

On the forum, look under Eastern Isle for the Upper Class forum. Your character must either be in the government or have a high-profile, high-income career in order to live here.

Upper Middle Class residents will live on the Eastern central island, closer to the town. This means that the residents of this area have easier access to the town areas and to work. Most of the families housed in this area have at least one working adult in them, and these adults may work higher-profile jobs or simply higher-paid jobs. Homes in this area resemble upper middle class neighborhoods in the United States. These homes are generally in the half-million to million dollar price range (for comparison to American homes). Townhomes and a wealthy apartment complex is provided in this area of the island.

On the forum, look under Eastern Isle for the Middle Class forum. Your character's job must meet income requirements in order to maintain a home in this section. Speak to an administrator before declaring an Eastern Isle family.

Middle Class residents will live on the Northern Island in the wooded area where it borders the Eastern Isle. This area spreads from the woods all the way to the town. These homes are closer together, much like a suburban area in the United States. Neighborhoods are compact and closely knit. Residents of this area generally have good jobs as shoppe or restaurant managers and may work in finance. Apartment complexes and middle class townhomes are available in this area.

On the forum, look under Northern Isle for the Middle Class forum. Your character's family must have at least one adult working in upper management or finance in order to have a home in this area.

Lower Middle Class residents will live on the Northern Isle where it borders the Western Isle. This area spreads back into the woods and stretches to the border with the Western Isle and the lower class areas. Homes here have smaller lawns to keep costs down, but they are still generally very well kept. Residents of this area generally work in lower management and/or have two adults per family working. Two apartment buildings provide inexpensive housing for small families or couples.

On the forum, look under Northern Isle for the Lower Middle Class forum. Your character's family must have at least two working adults in order to have a home in this area. Consider an apartment for single adults.

Working Class residents will live on the Western Isle where it borders the Northern Isle and the beach. This area covers a small amount of land, as there is such a small segment of the population of Birchwood Isle that fit into this wealth class. Homes here are small and compact, and a trailer park dominates much of the land here. Anyone preferring to live in a mobile home will ultimately make their home here, regardless of social class. There are no apartment buildings here: Residents must choose cottages or trailers.

On the forum, look under Western Isle for the Working Class forum. Your character must either belong to a family with low-paying jobs or desire to live in a trailer or trailer park. Please consider your preference of home carefully!

Piper Clan residents will live on the Western Isle where it borders the Southern Isle. This area is reserved specifically for the Piper Clan and no other residents may live here. The clan is played primarily by the administrative team, so this is not an area you'll need to worry too much about. Pipers live in small cottages and occasionally trailers without much organization to their homes. Strangers are generally unwelcome on this part of the island.

On the forum, look under Western Isle for the Piper Lands forum. Your character must be a Piper or adopted into the Piper clan in order to live on this part of the island. Not all Pipers have to live here. 

Homesteaders will live on the Southern Isle where it borders the Piper Lands. This section has been carved out specifically for those who are running small, private homesteads. Properties in this area range in value and size, but many are less than five full acres of land. Families may be dependent entirely on their own homesteads for food, and homesteads may include animals and crops. 

On the forum, look under Southern Isle for the Homesteaders forum. Your character's family must be a homesteading family in order to live on this part of the island. He or she may also hold down a regular job.

Farmers and Ranchers will live on the Southern Isle where it borders the Eastern Isle. The homes here are spread out, the houses generally large, and the acreages huge to provide food for the families on the island as well as to provide livestock animals and meat. Horse and cattle ranches are abundant with one or two sheep ranches scattered throughout. These people provide most of the food for the island.

On the forum, look under Southern isle for the Farms and Ranches forum. Your character must be a farmer or a rancher in order to live on this part of the island. At least one adult must actively farm or ranch the land in order to remain here. Farmers and ranchers may treat their home as a business and hire on additional staff. Include this in the family profile!

Inner Kid Connection: Your IK is OK. Mine is Too

Ageplay is full of differing philosophies on whether or not sexuality should be a part of play and engagement, about whether or not physical punishment is okay for inner children, about whether or not inner children are the product of our imaginations or a mental illness. Questions and uncertainties plague the community, and so I would like to lay one important thing to rest:

All inner kids are "okay" in our book.

I'm comfortable with sexuality in age play, prefer discipline in my age play, and understand that my inner kids may be the result of trauma (I'm adopted) but that I do not have the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder.

Your mileage may vary, and that's okay!

What I would like to establish at this point is that it is not okay to imply that another person's inner kid is "wrong" because she is different from yours. Preferring a relationship without discipline (or physical discipline) doesn't make you in any way superior to someone who thrives on discipline and who feels more comfortable where it is present. Non-sexual ageplay doesn't put you into an elite class of people who are "better" than the rest of us who enjoy sexuality as part of our experience.

We work very hard to make everyone comfortable. Birchwood Isle does permit sexuality and physical punishments on the site (within reason). Our site does not, however, allow people's limits to be broken simply because one person desires something the other does now.

When discussing your inner children (or inner child) and your preferences for him or her, it's essential that you communicate with inclusive language. To say "Nobody should spank an inner kid! That's abusive!" implies a superior attitude as opposed to those people who prefer physical punishment in their age play relationships. 

Your preferences are okay. So are mine.

Your IK is OK. So is mine.

The Roleplay Cycle and Its Effect on Inner Kids

There has been considerable discussion at home lately about the way that I run through cycles in my hobbies and interests. I'm not depressed: I'm always interested in something; Sometimes the thing I'm interested in isn't role play. I think that these cycles are normal for most people because you can see them throughout the role play community, on forums, on Tumblr, in every genre. 

Most of us seem to cycle through these phases together, which means that the role play community will have fewer good, strong groups during the "purging periods" and more good, strong, serious groups during the "binging" periods. A third and forth phase of the cycle complete it, much like the lunar phases. Our interest waxes and it wanes, with periods of fullness and periods of darkness. Surely Ava and I aren't the only ones who experience this phenomenon.

Recently I've had to express my apologies to several of our members, because I'm in the purging part of my cycle, obsessed with music and reading and less with posting and character creation. I work hard to keep up, but there are times I simply don't have the time with everything else that I have going on.

What I wanted to talk about was the way that these purge cycles affect my inner kids. It seems to have the opposite effect of the one expected: They appreciate the time to come out of their shells in the real world and engage in the hobbies that we share with one another. Some enjoy the music lessons, others dig deep into books I wouldn't otherwise read, and most of them try their hand at blogging now and again.

The inner kids around me, unfortunately, suffer. Mine do just fine with these "purges" but the kids I'm taking care of tend to suffer while I work through to keep the balance. This is why I often choose not to adopt other people's inner kids, so that I don't have to worry about their suffering abandonment when I cannot, or do not wish to, post on Birchwood Isle.

I'm already coming out of it now. Some of this cycle was brought on early by situations beyond my control but which happened on Birchwood Isle. It's getting better now, and I'm hoping to get some things done shortly. 

Please don't be afraid to join us, and don't be afraid of your own cycles, either!

Weekly Roleplay Tip: Plot in Public

Who's ready for a weekly roleplay tip of the week? We also do these in our Wednesday Weekly Encouragements for those interested in reading more from us. There are effectively two weekly tips every week!

This week's Saturday Roleplay Tip comes to you thanks to several incidents that we've had on Birchwood Isle. I won't belabor the point, but the tip still stands.

We encourage our members -- and members of other ageplay groups -- to plot in public, particularly when it comes to pairing up inner kids with potential parents.

While we understand that most of you exchange contact information and plot in instant messengers or even over the phone or text messages, we discourage this behavior at Birchwood Isle and therefore prompt every member to create a "Member plot page" which allows all members to plot with all characters belonging to a specific member without having to hunt down individual plot pages.

There is no way for us to enforce this matter with our members, and therefore we rarely press the issue unless it becomes a problem (as it has in the past). 

However, we strongly encourage our members to make sure that their plots are posted somewhere that the staff can review them in case of a disagreement or problem. If someone comes to us to tell us that the plot isn't going the way that they had planned with their partner, it is much easier for us to make things right if we can see the problem!

On Birchwood Isle, we ask that you create a plot page for your inner kid or inner adult as soon as you get a chance. If you wish to plot with a staffer or another person with a multitude of characters, please make the effort to use our member plot pages to get in touch with us. Obviously personal and instant messages are tempting, but we suggest that keeping things in the open helps the staff to help you!

Weekly Canon: Marcel Juneau

Marcel Juneau is the seven-year-old brother of 

Dominique Juneau of Birchwood Isle. He attends 

BWI Elementary, where he is a second grader.

His Nationality is American. He is currently open.

Who is Marcel?

Marcel is the little brother of new arrival (to the island) Dominique Juneau. When the American social services threatened to take him and his sisters away from their brother (well-known to be a homosexual), big brother moved the two younger siblings onto the island where they would be safer. He's never known a father other than Dominique, and often calls his brother "Dad" instead of referring to him by his first name.

A sweet and cheerful little boy, Marcel struggles to understand his sister's mood swings or the dark history of his parents' past, and so he avoids learning anything more than what's necessary. It's easier for him to lose himself in a fantasy world than it is for him to engage with his sister's fascination with what happened to their parents (who were lynched).

He's popular with his peers and is getting along just fine in spite of the fact that some of his peers point the finger at him because of his brother's odd behavior or his sister's fanatic rantings. Marcel is almost always in a good mood, and it's hard to bring him down!

Who Should Play Marcel?

The best player for Marcel is somebody who can handle the family's (very triggering) history with sensitivity. He's a little black boy born in the south whose parents died brutally. As far as anyone knows his parents were murdered because they refused to discourage their elder son from dressing like a girl. There are a lot of issues at play here, and the right player will understand these issues and be able to handle them with sensitivity. Experience playing boys is helpful, but not required.

Why Would Someone Want to Play Marcel?

He's different from most of the other canon characters that we have on offer at Birchwood Isle. For starters, he's "mundane" (meaning that he's entirely human), but he's also a part of an unusual family situation in which his elder brother is the custodian. The older brother is currently played by me (Devin). 

The family drama is interesting and should give you a lot of plot points to get started, as well. You won't have any trouble finding people to play with Marcel, as he fits in with our largest age group at present on the island. He will also be assigned a social worker due to his unusual family situation.

How to Claim Marcel

If you are interested in playing Marcel, the first thing that you'll need to do is create an account on Birchwood Isle. We highly recommend that your first account username be your alias, as this will give you an "out" in case you change your mind about the character.

For canon characters, we will then move you into a user group that will allow you to create a "plot page" for Marcel. Once this has been completed, we will complete his profile for you and approve your account so you can see the rest of the board!

You may wish to reserve Marcel when you first register, to make sure that you get the full seven-day period to finish his plot page. To do that, go to the Juneau Family Page and request him there. We'll take care of making sure his name is crossed off on the list!

4 Reasons we Discourage Cliques

Sometimes I think that the language we use at Birchwood Isle can be a bit confusing for potential members, and we might be chasing some people away. For that reason, I want to be as clear as I can. We discourage cliques, but encourage people to come to Birchwood Isle with their own roleplay partners. We don't believe that having a committed role play partner (like Ava and I have one another) means that you are automatically a part of a "clique."

As long as you continue to role play with other members, pairs do not a clique make.

The problem isn't two people who enjoy role playing together. The problem is the exclusion of other members. Everybody wants to be included when they join a roleplay group, and Birchwood Isle strives to make sure that everybody can find a place with us for their inner kid.

We discourage cliques for the following reasons: 

1. Cliques prevent new members from getting involved. If two or three members team up together and only post with one another, those two or three people may prevent new members from having anyone to role play with by focusing on one another's threads and being unwilling to provide stimulating plots to involve them.
2. Cliques lock characters into relationships with no outlet. In general, a clique locks the characters belonging to the clique's members into relationships with one another and prevent them from maintaining or obtaining outside relationships with other characters. This is harmful to the group and also to the individuals.
3. Cliques don't serve the group, only individual members. It's important on Birchwood Isle that all members contribute to the overall culture of the group. When members clique with one another, no member of the clique actually contributes to the group. The characters ultimately take up space.
4. Cliques make people feel passively bullied by exclusion. Most of the people who come to ageplay groups such as Birchwood Isle have at some point in their lives experienced trauma. None of us need to feel bullied all over again when we aren't "part of the group." Cliques make people feel bullied by pushing them out of the group.

Our staff has made a commitment to include everybody. You should receive a personal message within two days of acceptance from one of the staff members with plot suggestions to get you started. 

Please do bear in mind, however, that you should be reaching out to other members with plots as well! To take us up on this opportunity, please...

Join Birchwood Isle

Creature Feature: The Johanssen Witches

Though it wasn't the first time that we crossed the line to include some or our more outlandish characters on Birchwood Isle, the Johanssen Witches are the first time that we did it openly, with the introduction of the Archer Somers canon family. The family is filled up now with every character taken by a member of Birchwood Isle, but there are plenty of Johanssens left for members to pick up (as the canon families in this line are released).

The Johanssens aren't the only witches on the island, but their line is unique for several reasons that you might find interesting. If you'd like to consider playing a Johanssen witch as these characters become available, you'll want to read through this information before taking that leap. Members who have joined this line have asked for further information, and we hope that what we provide is sufficient to help you understand them.

Note that future "creature features" might feature other witch lines. Each has its own unique qualities!

You should know several things about the Johanssens from the beginning.

1. This is a female line of witches. Both female and male lines exist on Birchwood Isle. The Johanssen line is female. Each woman in this line is morally obligated to birth seven daughters. Other children (whether she has more than seven children or mixes with a male line to produce boy children) do not count toward the total of seven children.
2. These witches have active powers. Most of the Johanssen witches are pagans, and practice witchcraft the way that modern pagans do. However, they also have active powers which means that they have abilities in addition to their ability to perform spells. If you need a point of reference, Practical Magic is a good example of the types of powers Johanssen women possess.
3. Each woman has unique powers. In this line, most of the women have one or two active powers, and these powers are unique, meaning that not every woman will have the same powers as the other women in her family. The exception to this is the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter.
4. Every seventh daughter of a seventh daughter inherits the powers of her sisters. She will also inherit the active powers of every other witch who came before her. This is the reason that continuing the line is so important to the Johanssen witches. The youngest girl of the youngest girl will always be the most powerful.
5. The seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter (etc) is not yet born. Saren Somers is the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter (Ruby Johanssen) and she has six biological daughters. At the moment she is pregnant with the seventh daughter in her line.
6. Abrielle Somers is currently the most powerful witch in the line. Nobody's quite sure why, except that a prophecy said she would have a very special child. She is now seventeen and pregnant with an unusual child. Most Johanssen women don't have boys, and Brieley is pregnant with a boy child. He is so powerful that she has absorbed the power from her baby.
7. The current line goes back seven generations. The seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter hasn't been born yet. Saren Somers is currently pregnant with her.

Unless otherwise indicated, most of the witches in this line have moderate-to-strong powers, with Saren and Brieley Somers having especially strong powers. A small handful of the witches in this line have weak powers. Males in this line usually have no powers except under special circumstances.

There are currently four males in this line. They are two sets of twins  born to a set of twins: Monica's boys are Jason and Jamie Johanssen and her twin sister Bridget's boys are Ashley and Gabriel.

More families in this line are opening up regularly, and some spots are still available in the (Carissa) Johanssen-Rhodes family as well as in the Bridget Johanssen family. These branches are being written up as we speak, and will be released as canon characters.

Preference vs. Discrimination: What's the Difference?

Recently we were forced to ban a member we liked in part because of discriminatory behavior by this member. Thanks, in part, to this situation, we created a Diversity Policy for Birchwood Isle which lays out what we allow and what we don't allow in terms of discrimination against any group on our site.

On Birchwood Isle, we don't allow anyone to discriminate against anyone else for any reason. So while it may be an unpopular point of view, you cannot refuse to role play with a character for being straight, or white, or male, or wealthy, or cisgender, or any number of things.

You are permitted to have a preference in your role play! Some people prefer to role play with female adults, and some might have a preference for adopting female children. These are preferences, not discrimination. We highly recommend that you keep these types of preferences to yourself. Talking openly about preferences that exclude particular groups of people can be triggering to some people and is generally offensive to nearly everyone on Birchwood Isle. Elect to play with men instead of women if you want, but try not to post in your plot page (or other people's plot pages) that you don't want to role play with women.

If your preferences become discriminatory -- that is to say that if you prefer one group over the other so much that you cannot play with a particular group -- then that is discrimination, and this isn't going to be the right group for you: You'll be in violation of our discrimination policy.

Discrimination is the prejudicial treatment of a class of people based on such things as gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. The key word here is prejudicial. 

If you choose to judge an individual (let's say my character/inner adult Josh Tanner) based on his gender (cismale) or his ethnicity (Samoan) without taking the time to learn about Josh as an individual, this is discrimination. 

While we understand the sexual nature of ageplay, and that your own orientation and preferences may relate to your preferences in a group such as ours, we also believe that inner kids are people too and that we cannot allow members to pick and choose people to play with based on discriminatory practices, policies, and behavior.

So you may prefer to play with women, but you may not refuse to play with men. 

If characters of a particular gender, race, or sexual orientation "trigger" you, let us know up front. We may be able to make accommodations, but more likely than not you'll find that this isn't the group for you.

Inner Kid Connection: Structure for Inner Kids

Of all the things that make us most proud of Birchwood Isle, our structure is at the top of the list of things we love about our island. Many ageplay groups provide little more than a forum and protective access which requires people to fill out an application before they can see the role play going on on the board. Inner kids are then able to post their stories, journals, or general calamities with little expectation of being cared for. 

While there are some very good forums of this type on the internet, we saw an opportunity and a  void where legit serious role playing groups were concerned, and since we felt that our inner kids would be best suited to more structure, we put the effort into forming a site where inner kids could be kept safe in every possible way.

The question that many people seem to ask is this: How does structure help keep my inner kid safe?

Our answer is simple: Inner kids feel safer when they have someone they can turn to and rely on in a crisis. Not only are both of our admins always available if you're having an issue on the site, but we provide guardianship for every inner child who comes to Birchwood Isle without his or her own parents. While we certainly don't adopt every foster kid who arrives on the island, we provide each of them with a guardian, a social worker, a therapist, a physician or pediatrician, a homeroom teacher, and for those over fourteen, the possibility of an employer as well. 

These support networks are incredible, and they are active at your request. Each of these characters is played by a staff member, and yes, we do keep up with the requested threads (at least for now).

This means that your inner kid will have a dedicated and trusted support staff.

When we talk about our "structure," this is what we mean. No kid comes onto the island to be ignored or to be expected to interact only with peers. We know each of our members individually, and we strive to get to know the inner children on Birchwood Isle as well.

To our knowledge, you're not going to find this anywhere else.

So while we might have some rules that other administrators find too "revealing" (we require all inners to be linked to one "alias" or "big person" for contact purposes, and we provide much of our basic information publicly to everyone, but not the bio forms, which frustrate some members), we do what we do for the protection of the individuals we serve at Birchwood Isle. After all, if it works for us, that means that on some level it works.

Birchwood Isle Changes sometimes, based on the needs of our staff and members. We will update you of any changes you need to know about.

In the meantime, you can...

Come Join Us!

How Your Character's Inner Thoughts Affect Other Inner Kids

This is a common problem that I've been dealing with for years now. I'd like to try to handle this topic with sensitivity to all involved, but I must begin by explaining something important about inner kid. I'll probably talk about this again in a later Inner Kid Connection, but it has a bearing on this topic.

Inner kids are often incredibly sensitive. I'll leave this post at that and allow you to read further when next week's Inner Kid Connection is posted.

Scornful thoughts or narration can affect an inner person of any age (child, teen, or adult) but it is especially harmful to emotionally-real inner children. The first time I witnessed this problem occurring, it was two inner children playing together, and one thought that the other was stupid (or similar thoughts, this was years ago now). The second child was deeply hurt by this inner commentary, but was unable to comment or defend himself because the words weren't spoken out loud.

Here's something that you should think about: If you wouldn't want somebody to do that to your inner kid, you shouldn't do it to their inner kid.

It's that simple. We all learned this in Kindergarten. If you wish to be treated with respect, then you should treat other people with respect. Anything you would not want done to your inner kid is something you shouldn't do to another inner kid (unless they've specifically asked for it). 

Going forward, I hope that our members can remember this.

Weekly Roleplay Tip: Making Readers See What You See

It is (unfortunately) no secret at Birchwood Isle that I have a lot of problems with "cute inner kids." I've had to address this issue so many times that it's become a tremendous embarrassment to me. "Cute" inner kids can be very triggering for me. I've tried to explain the problem on our forum, but since non-members can't see what I've written there, let me put it to you simply: Just because you think your inner kid is cute doesn't mean that she is cute, and you can't convince me that she's lovable or worth adopting by telling me how "cute" or "little" or "tiny" or "adorable" she is. The harsh reality is that your inner kid probably isn't as cute as you think that she is.

As I've come to understand what it is about the "cuties" that bothers me so much, I've discovered an important element of good role play: You need to make the reader see what you see. Instead of telling me that your inner kid is cute, show me. When I can see it, too, I'm more likely to love your inner kid the way that you want me to. Telling me she's cute repulses me; Showing me she's cute attracts me!

Obviously, therefore, this tip is quite personal for me. It's also been weighing on me for some time. Showing rather than telling will get you better results with nearly every adult role player.

First things first, simply stop telling me what you see. The key here is to stop telling that your inner kid is cute, or flirty, or pretty, or sweet, and illustrate it for me instead.

One of the most common errors that we see on Birchwood Isle is when a role player tells us what their inner kid is wearing. This is only a problem when done out of context or when it makes up the entirety of the post or when the clothing the inner kid is wearing is described as a "cute little red turtleneck." 

Leave whether or not the red turtleneck with the hearts on the collar is cute up to the person who is reading. Maybe they don't find red turtlenecks on seven-year-old little girls "cute" and your telling them that it is turns them off. Personally, I don't find seven-year-old little girls cute, so I'm going to take more convincing than the average person that your seven-year-old inner kid is cute.

So please don't simply tell me that she's cute. That's the fastest way to turn me off, and I tend to drop threads in which the other player "puts on The Cute."

I need you to show me.

The question is, how do you do this?

First, ask yourself what you want me to see. Do you want me to see how excited your inner kid is about going to the park? 

Then tell me how she's hopping from one foot to the other as she waits by the door for her guardian to take her to the car.

Do you want me to see that your inner kid is cold? 

Then tell me about how she's shivering and rubbing her hands together, or how her teeth are chattering as she bounces on her toes to keep the blood flowing.

Do you want me to see how lovable your inner kid is?

Then show me the way that she reaches for her guardian's hand when it's time to cross the street, without even being told to do so.

Showing instead of telling is an important part of writing good fiction, but it's especially important in a community in which the intention is to find a long-term partner for your character (either a parent or guardian, or sometimes even a sibling). Some of us (because I'm not the only one) don't like having The Cute shoved in our faces, but nearly all of us can experience an adorable inner kid as lovable if you show us rather than telling us.

Weekly Canon: Brigitta Hirsch

Brigitta Hirsh is the seventeen year-old daughter of Brynner and 

Claudia Hirsch of Birchwood Isle. She attends St. Jude's Academy,

 where she is a senior. Her nationality is Icelandic. 

She is currently open.

Who is Brigitta?

Brigitta is a biological child of a well-known (and well-liked) family on Birchwood Isle. She moved with her parents and twin brother and sister to Birchwood Isle several months ago and are just beginning to learn English. Her native language is Icelandic, and her parents are German and have taught Brigitta and her siblings basic German in addition to their Icelandic.

Her father believes that he is teaching the family the value of togetherness by moving them to a country where he believes they can help others, and Brynner works as a pastor on the island while also engaging in social work and a growing list of community projects. Brigitta is often pressured into engaging in these projects with her family, whether she wants to or not.

Unfortunately Brigitta is distracted by the boyfriend she left behind in Iceland. He has been stalking her regularly on the internet prior to the move, and she continues to fear him. Her obsession outlives his interest, however, and the stalking has stopped. Now it's Brigitta who is creating problems, though she continues to see her ex-boyfriend as the problem.

Who Should Play Brigitta?

The best player for Brigitta is an independent role player with an eye for character development. Both of her parents are active player characters played by the administrators of Birchwood Isle, and both of her siblings are currently available. A player who is interested in building stories through story arcs and in developing her character beyond what's given in her bio should do well with her. Parents might not always be available for play, so the right player will focus on telling her story through friendships and school whenever possible.

Why Would Someone Want to Play Brigitta?

First of all, she's well connected. As part of a biological family, she comes with both parents (already in play by Devin and Ava) and two siblings (boy-girl twins). She's the oldest in the family.

Furthermore, the Hirsch Family is connected to  both the church family on Birchwood Isle (through Fruit of the Vine Christian Church) and they work closely with the poor people on the island, meaning that they are heavily involved in community projects and get to know those who are less "well off." Other community activists will also be tightly connected to the Hirsch family, opening up opportunities for friendships for Brigitta.

How to Claim Brigitta

If you are interested in playing Brigtita, the first thing that you'll need to do is create an account on Birchwood Isle. We highly recommend that your first account username be your alias, as this will give you an "out" in case you change your mind about the character.

For canon characters, we will then move you into a user group that will allow you to create a "plot page" for Brigitta. Once this has been completed, we will complete her profile for you and approve your account so you can see the rest of the board!

You may wish to reserve Brigitta when you first register, to make sure that you get the full seven-day period to finish her bio. To do that, go to the Hirsch Family Page and request her there. We'll take care of making sure her name is crossed off on the list!

9 Reasons to Make Birchwood Isle Your Next Ageplay Home

If it's somehow not yet clear, we love Birchwood Isle! So does every member who has been polled on the subject, with a unanimous 5/5 star rating from our members. Clearly we have something going on that you can't find anywhere else on the internet, so what is it that makes Birchwood Isle unique? Why should you consider making it your next ageplay home on the web? 

Here are just a few reasons.

1. We're inclusive. Birchwood Isle has a place for people of all preferences, whether you want discipline or sexuality in your role play or you don't, whether you like to play little kids, teenagers, or adults, whether you are an exceptional writer/role player or are just starting out, whether your character is an emotionally-real inner kid or one of our canons. We are accepting of everyone who can follow our basic rules!
2. We provide every (inner) child character with someone to play with. Even if you choose to play a biological child in a canon family waiting for parents, your child character will always have at least a teacher and a doctor to interact with. Every child on the site has at least one adult in his or her support network. Child characters in foster care will be assigned a social worker, guardian, therapist, physician/pediatrician, and a teacher. Birchwood Isle doesn't ignore your inner kid!
3. We're personable. I've written before about the community at Birchwood Isle. Unlike most ageplay groups of our type, we have an ongoing out-of-character chat (via chatbox in the sidebar of our site or above the main board for guests). Our members are welcoming and personable, and most of all always anxious to talk to guests and new members! You won't find another site in this genre capable of greeting you the way you'll be greeted at Birchwood Isle!
4. Everyone plays together. We actively encourage our members to play with one another by using events to reward people for plotting with other members and planning threads with them. Our goal is to foster an environment in which members get to know one another personally and care for one another and one another's inner families. No environment is altogether clique-free, but we put every effort into making sure that everyone has a roleplay partner!
5. We have great events. Every month Birchwood Isle hosts a minimum of three events. Each of the three group foster homes on the island has an "activity night" which we play out monthly for those interested, and we also have community-wide events for everyone to participate in. Those participating receive an award for doing so (see below). Most months we also have an out of character event to encourage people to plot with one another.
6. Everybody loves awards! My co-administrator is a wonderful artist who creates graphic awards for the members who participate in the events and involve themselves in the contests. Who doesn't like getting an award added to their trophy case when they do something exceptional on the site? These are usually added monthly, though sometimes we get a bit of a back-log, since we like for them to be unique!
7. We encourage our members. Each week we post a "Weekly Encouragement" to lift up our members and to show them how much we appreciate them. These are words of encouragement for those who might be needing it, and also a way for us to point out areas where we'd like to see some particular character groups filled in. Members then have the opportunity to reply with their own form, to encourage one another or the staff!
8. Our characters are diverse. Though it's rare in ageplay, Birchwood Isle has a diverse cast of characters! They come from every race, many ethnic backgrounds, several genders (binary cisgender, binary transgender, non-binary and gender fluid), most sexual orientations (including asexual, demisexual, homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, and bisexual), and socio-economic backgrounds. We truly are diverse.
9. We won't pressure you to play an adult. While we do encourage our members to make adult characters (and play them), we aren't going to force you to play an adult in order to take on another child character. You may play as many children as you want without a requirement to play an adult. Our files often say that we would like to see more adults and teenagers, but we don't carry any ratios unless absolutely necessary!

If you need one more reason, we'd love to have you at Birchwood Isle! Nobody's going to pressure you into being something you're not on Birchwood Isle, and we only ban for two reasons: Predatory behavior and discriminatory (racist or sexist) behavior. We're happy to have you with us!

Creature Feature: New Feature

You might be hearing a lot about new features on Birchwood Isle this week. That's because I'm doing what I can to establish a new structure for the blog (one I can keep up with!) and help you to understand our process and our island a little bit better.

The Creature Feature is an interesting one, for sure, especially if you didn't know that Birchwood Isle also has a moderate supernatural element to the role play!

Each week, we will be choosing either one of our species, one of our supernatural family lines, or one of our supernatural characters to feature in the Creature Feature on Wednesdays. This will allow our guests an opportunity to get to know the types of things that we do on Birchwood Isle that are somewhat out of the ordinary. 

If you have an inner kid who doesn't seem quite human, then this might work out well for you! Just bear in mind that our family lines are important to us and therefore we try to piece them together via canon families of people who fit together. We may occasionally accept a "creature" as a foster child or as a single adult, but they must be adopted in order to qualify for this status!

We'd like to encourage our guests to ask any questions they may have about the creature feature every week! This is something new to ageplay as far as we can tell, and since it is seemingly unfamiliar, we'd like to make sure that all necessary questions have been answered for our audience.

3 Ways that Inner Kids Depersonalize Adult Characters in Ageplay Groups

Inner kids in ageplay groups are notorious for treating every adult like they are "any adult." What I mean by this is that the adult is left feeling as though his personality matters less than his availability. As long as the adult is willing to adopt/punish/cuddle/spoil the inner child, it could be anybody with a name and a gender. Most child players prefer one gender over the others (I used to like male adults, but gender matters less to me now than it used to), but for the most part, the availability is the most important factor in ageplay.

While this might not be a problem for most people who play adults in age play groups (after all, many adult players want nothing more than to adopt cute inner kids), the purpose of Birchwood Isle is to be a dynamic, rich environment with a wide array of different characters to choose from. 

Personality matters on Birchwood Isle.

We want everybody thinking about how they build their characters, whether they identify their character as an "inner" or not. A fully-developed character includes positive and negative traits, hobbies, skills, hopes, dreams, fears, and overall is a well-rounded person. 

You treat your inner child as a person, so why not treat the adults in a group in the same way that you'd want your character treated? Look at it this way: If you believed that an adult was "shopping" for kids to add to their family and chose the first one they came across because the first one was the most "convenient," wouldn't it bother you, especially if your inner kid wasn't the first one the adult came across?

Hopefully you can understand how this would be an issue for adults the same as it would be for child characters. So let's look at the ways in which child players treat adult players as though their character is simply a convenience.

1. They accept the first adult offering to add their inner child to the family. We understand that in most cases there isn't a lot of variety staring you in the face because most ageplay groups have more children than they do adults (Birchwood Isle is no exception to this rule!). However, we've also noticed that many players will take up the first offer without chemistry testing or play testing a variety of scenarios (including discipline situations). In this way, the adult is only a convenience because his personality doesn't matter so much as his willingness to parent them does.
2. They treat every adult as though they are the same as every other adult. This is particularly common during punishment threads, because the child player treats the punishment as though anyone could be delivering it. A couple of times I've felt as though I'm working with a copy and paste job from previous punishment threads, and that particularly hurts because each of my adults spanks differently. While the formula is roughly the same, the characters are different.
3. They become angry or belligerent when the desired outcome doesn't happen. A few months back, this happened on Birchwood Isle: One of our members had an end-game in mind for their character, and instead of following the planned thread, they pushed for more (a harder spanking). The result was not what they desired, as the adult in the thread would have either walked away or (being a cop) called for backup to take down the defiant kid. In this case the member became irate that the adult in the thread didn't change his personality to meet the needs of the child.

Try to remember that your inner kid's needs are important, but that the needs and most of all the personality of the adult are also important to his or her player. The best stories are always mutually fulfilling, and you're more likely to find an adoptive parent for your inner kid if you treat the adults as unique individuals!

If you're interested in finding an ageplay group where every character (inner) is respected for his or her uniqueness, you should definitely...

Check out Birchwood Isle!

Inner Kid Connection: New Feature

A recent discussion in our chat box has led me to reach the conclusion that we're not talking enough about inner kids. Because we try to be a LSRPG (legit serious role playing group), we think this is pretty typical: Who spends a lot of time on their group talking about characters, after all? On Birchwood Isle, our "characters" are our inner kids (and sometimes inner adults) and therefore they don't get a lot of mention either on our forum or on our blog. 

We believe that it's time to change that, for two reasons:

The first reason is that most of the traffic to our forum comes from this blog, and people are finding this blog by searching Google for "Family Discipline Role Play" (presumably among others, but those guests and members we've spoken to tell us that this is their search term, and Birchwood Isle ranks high for it. In theory, if we talk more about inner kids we will do more to gain traffic for this search term. While we are a legit serious role playing group, we are also dedicated to building relationships for our inner people of all ages, and we would like to illustrate this to people. This illustration is impossible if people can't find us for the right reasons, so the goal at this point is to help others to find Birchwood Isle.

The second reason is that the structure of our site is rigid and many people feel that it's stifling. We've created it the way that we have because after extensive play testing and frequent abandonment by parents to our own inner kids, we wanted to do all we could to protect the inner children at Birchwood Isle from predators (or those exhibiting predatory behavior) and to make sure that any adoptions are "sticky" (meaning that they don't fall through the moment the figurative paperwork is signed).

If you don't like our structure (which we're expanding right now to illustrate for guests who and what we really are), that's fine: Birchwood Isle might not be for you. We do what we do for a good reason, and we hope that the right people (those whose inner kids need a solid, structured, environment that is as real as they are, and who are able to write extensive posts) can find us and will join our ranks.

In the meantime, this new series, published every Monday, is intended to help those who might fit with us to find us. So bring us your inner kids! They are welcome here!

7 Things Age Players do Wrong at Birchwood Isle

I know that nobody wants to hear that they're doing it wrong, and I also recognize that much of what this blog covers is "this is what you're doing wrong" and "how to make it better." We've been at this a long time, with Birchwood Isle coming up on four years running, and it's predecessor, Foster Forest, having run for close to seven years (off and on) before going belly up to make way for the grand project that is BWI. Ageplay has been part of my life for about seventeen years, and I've been running groups for fifteen. Very few people have been around this block as long as I have, and of those who have, none that I am aware of have been so consistent in playing nor have they maintained their own groups.

I'm not saying I'm better at this than you are: I'm saying that I likely have more experience than you do and that come what may, I know what's best for Birchwood Isle.

Some of our articles have universal application within ageplay role plays, and some of them have universal application in role play generally. This one relates specifically to Birchwood Isle, and the things that come up most often to disrupt our role play community.

1. Respond to a call for more teenagers with 13 or 14-year-olds. This is largely the fault of our founder team, as both of us have been unclear in the past about what it is that we're actually looking for when we ask for teenagers. Teenagers in this age range are still considered "younger" children and don't fill the need for high-school-aged teens.
2. Respond to a call for adults with an adult who won't adopt. Unless an adult is in a position to interact with the children of Birchwood Isle either in the group homes or as a potential adoptive parent, there is no use for the adult and he or she might as well relinquish the face claim to someone who will create a utilitarian adult.
3. Depersonalize adult characters to turn them into "spanking machines." We expect all of the characters on Birchwood Isle to show some character development and to have strong personalities. Some members treat our adults as though they are all interchangeable provided they are the "right" gender and face claim.
4. Refuse to interact with one or more genders. Birchwood Isle is proud to have a mix of genders (male, female, cis and transgender, as well as non-binary) and we also have a small group of members who insist on playing with only one gender. When we accept you, it is assumed that you will interact at least with binary male and female characters. Refusal to interact with males is upsetting to us.
5. Choose an adult character when shown a list including children and teens. We know you want to get spanked, and we recognize that the majority of you want to get spanked as early and often as possible. However, when you are shown a (short) list of administrative characters, we expect you to choose a character closer to your own character's age, not to aim to get spanked right away.
6. Refuse plots with administrator children while asking for plots with their adults. This happens more often than I'm comfortable admitting. Child and teen characters are often passed over in lieu of adult characters new members prefer to get to know in the hopes of getting spanked or adopted. The key to getting spanked or adopted is the child or teen characters!
7. Not reading what's posted for your information. For example, I have posted in more than one location that I do not like to spank little girls, and that I prefer to play males. Many members continue to ask me to spank their little girls with one of my adult females. This is a combination that turns my stomach for reasons I won't get into here (except to say that I have triggers, too!).

Nobody's perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. We only ban for one reason, and that's predatory behavior. Different things come across as predatory, and I will list those here since it's related to the above information. Unless you are doing or have done one of the things listed here, you will not be banned (at least not permanently).

1. Reject all characters of a particular gender while demanding members create children for your character of a specific age and gender. One person was banned because he insisted on only role playing with girls and demanded that they all be teenage girls. He was very clear and insistent that they would be under strict rules and frequently spanked. (It should be noted that this member also mentioned publicly, in our chat box, a girl he knew who enjoyed detentions because they made her feel "loved." The risk of pedophilia was too high to keep him.)
2. Demand that a punishment meet certain criteria or expectations. It is one thing to have a preference for a certain scenario, but you may not demand of our adults. This is considered predatory. One member was banned when he refused to accept that an adult couldn't complete a thread due to the dire consequences it would mean for his teenage character, and called me all kinds of names for not changing my adult character to accommodate him. He was just here to get his jollies, and nothing else.
3. Attach to a single character, family, or member and refuse to play with others. This has happened a total of two times on Birchwood Isle, and in both cases the member was unsatisfied and wound up leaving the group. In one case the member was also banned. Not only is this behavior highly predatory as it preys upon the object of fixation, but it is the beginnings of a "clique," which are dangerous in our community environment.
4. Singling out a member or character and then leaving the group with a final message asking that member to role play with you privately. This was our last ban, and it would appear that the member arrived on the site for the sole purpose of singling out a new role play partner. We are not a personals service and I have rarely felt so crept on as I did with this particular situation. Please don't ask our members for 1x1 role play: It's incredibly bad manners!