It is (unfortunately) no secret at Birchwood Isle that I have a lot of problems with "cute inner kids." I've had to address this issue so many times that it's become a tremendous embarrassment to me. "Cute" inner kids can be very triggering for me. I've tried to explain the problem on our forum, but since non-members can't see what I've written there, let me put it to you simply: Just because you think your inner kid is cute doesn't mean that she is cute, and you can't convince me that she's lovable or worth adopting by telling me how "cute" or "little" or "tiny" or "adorable" she is. The harsh reality is that your inner kid probably isn't as cute as you think that she is.
As I've come to understand what it is about the "cuties" that bothers me so much, I've discovered an important element of good role play: You need to make the reader see what you see. Instead of telling me that your inner kid is cute, show me. When I can see it, too, I'm more likely to love your inner kid the way that you want me to. Telling me she's cute repulses me; Showing me she's cute attracts me!
Obviously, therefore, this tip is quite personal for me. It's also been weighing on me for some time. Showing rather than telling will get you better results with nearly every adult role player.
First things first, simply stop telling me what you see. The key here is to stop telling that your inner kid is cute, or flirty, or pretty, or sweet, and illustrate it for me instead.
One of the most common errors that we see on Birchwood Isle is when a role player tells us what their inner kid is wearing. This is only a problem when done out of context or when it makes up the entirety of the post or when the clothing the inner kid is wearing is described as a "cute little red turtleneck."
Leave whether or not the red turtleneck with the hearts on the collar is cute up to the person who is reading. Maybe they don't find red turtlenecks on seven-year-old little girls "cute" and your telling them that it is turns them off. Personally, I don't find seven-year-old little girls cute, so I'm going to take more convincing than the average person that your seven-year-old inner kid is cute.
So please don't simply tell me that she's cute. That's the fastest way to turn me off, and I tend to drop threads in which the other player "puts on The Cute."
I need you to show me.
The question is, how do you do this?
First, ask yourself what you want me to see. Do you want me to see how excited your inner kid is about going to the park?
Then tell me how she's hopping from one foot to the other as she waits by the door for her guardian to take her to the car.
Do you want me to see that your inner kid is cold?
Then tell me about how she's shivering and rubbing her hands together, or how her teeth are chattering as she bounces on her toes to keep the blood flowing.
Do you want me to see how lovable your inner kid is?
Then show me the way that she reaches for her guardian's hand when it's time to cross the street, without even being told to do so.
Showing instead of telling is an important part of writing good fiction, but it's especially important in a community in which the intention is to find a long-term partner for your character (either a parent or guardian, or sometimes even a sibling). Some of us (because I'm not the only one) don't like having The Cute shoved in our faces, but nearly all of us can experience an adorable inner kid as lovable if you show us rather than telling us.
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