Monday, March 2, 2015

Inner Kid Connection: Your IK is OK. Mine is Too

Ageplay is full of differing philosophies on whether or not sexuality should be a part of play and engagement, about whether or not physical punishment is okay for inner children, about whether or not inner children are the product of our imaginations or a mental illness. Questions and uncertainties plague the community, and so I would like to lay one important thing to rest:

All inner kids are "okay" in our book.

I'm comfortable with sexuality in age play, prefer discipline in my age play, and understand that my inner kids may be the result of trauma (I'm adopted) but that I do not have the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder.

Your mileage may vary, and that's okay!

What I would like to establish at this point is that it is not okay to imply that another person's inner kid is "wrong" because she is different from yours. Preferring a relationship without discipline (or physical discipline) doesn't make you in any way superior to someone who thrives on discipline and who feels more comfortable where it is present. Non-sexual ageplay doesn't put you into an elite class of people who are "better" than the rest of us who enjoy sexuality as part of our experience.

We work very hard to make everyone comfortable. Birchwood Isle does permit sexuality and physical punishments on the site (within reason). Our site does not, however, allow people's limits to be broken simply because one person desires something the other does now.

When discussing your inner children (or inner child) and your preferences for him or her, it's essential that you communicate with inclusive language. To say "Nobody should spank an inner kid! That's abusive!" implies a superior attitude as opposed to those people who prefer physical punishment in their age play relationships. 

Your preferences are okay. So are mine.

Your IK is OK. So is mine.

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