How to Write a Better Spanking: Top Edition

I've been meaning to do this for a couple of years now because I think that this is an important article. 

It's a sad fact that most people who enjoy spanking role play don't write spankings well. I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings, but if I've role played with you, chances are that I do not, personally, believe that you either give or take a spanking at the level that I enjoy role playing. Please don't misunderstand me: I'm not judging you. Nobody has taught you what goes into a good spanking, and no matter how often you read through one, it honestly takes putting certain steps into practice before you learn to do it well.

This will be a lengthy guide, broken down into parts to make it easier for you to read. I'll be breaking the parts to make it easier to read. Each part will come with a sub-heading and an image to help break the page down visually and make it easier to digest.

This article is for TOPS (that is to say, the person giving the spanking). A version for BOTTOMS (the person getting the spanking) is forthcoming.

Basic Tips for Better Spankings

1. Focus on the visuals, not on the sound effects. Most people who write spanking scenes focus too much on the sounds that their hand or an implement is making on the skin of the individual who is being spanked. Instead of focusing on the sound effects, try to focus on the visual. What impact is the implement (or hand) making on the bottom of the person being spanked? How is the skin coloring? Does it jiggle when smacked? These are much more effective than writing out the sounds (like *smack!* *smack!* *smack!*).
2. Know your roleplay partner. Get to know what your roleplay partner enjoys in a spanking, then write that into the scene. If she's particularly fond of leather and has fantasies about "daddy's belt," then use a belt. If he prefers to be spanked over the knee, then do the spanking over the knee. Find the nuances that your roleplay partner fantasizes about and include those elements into the spanking that you're writing for your partner.
3. Write one phase of the spanking per post. One of the big issues that comes up a lot is pacing during a written spanking. The problem is that some people move too fast (*smack!* *smack!* *smack!* and the spanking is done) and some people move too slowly (one swat per post for twenty-five smacks). Instead of focusing on the number of smacks (except in an institutional setting), focus on each phase of the spanking. "Phases" should be distinguished from "steps." Spanking is only one step in the spanking process. I'll update later with a link to the phases of a spanking.
4. Thoroughly read your partner's posts. Someone who knows how to write receiving a spanking well might give you little gems to reply to. Maybe the person you're spanking will fling her hand back to cover her bottom and nearly smack you in the face. Maybe he'll wiggle so hard he gets out of position and you have to pull him back in. Responding to the details your partner gives you keep the spanking fun by keeping it interactive. That's the real joy of role play, isn't it?
5. Focus on details. Most people fail to focus on the details of a good spanking. This is what I refer to as "being a spanking arm." Adults who don't focus on details are interchangeable with one another. In order to stand out in the crowd, you have to do more than just swat a miscreant backside. You have to give details. Focus on the way that you restrain the person you're spanking, on the way your hand feels when it makes contact, the weight of the hairbrush, the sound of the leather being pulled through belt loops. These are delicious details!
6. Use your words well. Not everybody likes to scold during or before a spanking, but this little detail can be delicious for the person who is receiving the spanking. Many bottoms enjoy taking ownership of a spanking ("your spanking" vs. "a spanking") and reference to "good spanking" or "sound spanking" can be beautiful. Focus on the words and use them well to add an extra dose of wonderful humiliation for the recipient of the spanking. Your partner will walk away much pleased but might not even know why!

If you can follow these tips, you're well on your way to being a better spanking writer than most people in role play are! Congratulations for giving it a shot. But if you want to be an exceptional spanking writer, you'll want to follow the steps listed below.

How to Give a Better Roleplay Spanking, Step by Step

This part of the guide is going to take you step by step through what you need to do in order to write a better spanking (as the person giving the spanking). The goal of this section is to illustrate for you, a step at a time, how to keep your energy up while enjoying the spanking and creating a scenario that the person you're spanking can also enjoy. None of this is complicated, but it does focus on details.

Step One: Catch the Miscreant

The first step to giving an exceptional spanking is to discover that the miscreant has in some way misbehaved.

This may happen in one of two ways.

In the first (and perhaps the most common) instance, the miscreant is caught in the act of some misbehavior. This occurs when the top (adult or otherwise "the spanker") enters a scene in which the bottom (child or otherwise "the spankee") has misbehaved. Perhaps the bottom has been interacting with other characters and has gotten up to mischief, or perhaps he has misbehaved and the misbehavior needs to be stopped and dealt with. Either way, in this instance, do the following.

Interrupt the misbehavior. Make sure to do so in-character. If your character has a hot temper, maybe she enters the scene shouting. If he is quiet-natured, perhaps he simply takes the miscreant and removes her from the "scene of the crime."

In literate role play, this is a good time to start a new thread if you are interrupting an ongoing scene. Treat the punishment as its own scene. If the thread was created to court trouble, then simply continue in the existing thread.

The second way a miscreant may be caught is by a phone call to the spanker. This is a less common way to proceed, but in some ways it saves time, and it can be just as interesting as catching the miscreant in the act of a misbehavior. 

In this case, the top ("spanker") will need to retrieve the miscreant ("spankee") from wherever the misbehavior occurred, whether it was at school, a friend's house, or a public place. 

With this particular scenario, you have some added responsibilities, including taking the miscreant back to the place where she is going to be punished. The drive home is a good opportunity to get to scolding the miscreant, so take the time to make it good and be descriptive about the atmosphere during the drive or the walk home.

Step Two: The Talk

While any transfer of the miscreant from one location to the other may be silent in order to promote an atmosphere of nervousness in the child, the next step in a good spanking is to give "the talk." Everybody who has ever been a child knows what "the talk" is. At this point in time, it's the top's responsibility to issue a scolding to the bottom.

It might be tempting to skip this. Both the top and the bottom are looking forward to getting into the action of the thread by skipping the scolding and going straight for the star of the show. Whatever you do, don't rush this part of the process! This has the potential to be one of the most delightful parts of a step-by-step spanking.

This is the period of time when you need to get control of the bottom. It can be time consuming and sometimes the bottom will put up a power struggle. During this step, you will be able to note whether or not the bottom is going to be an interesting spankee, because they will match your energy while still allowing the top to "win" any fight that crops up between the top and the bottom.

Your job, during this step, is to convince the miscreant that what she did was wrong and that she deserves to be punished. This is the step during which you will work on establishing what the punishment is going to be, and what, exactly, you're going to be punishing for.

A wise top will expect some struggle from the bottom at this phase of the punishment. Many role players will use this step (as bottoms) to push for a bigger or more intense punishment, even if they don't need to keep pushing in order to get a serious spanking. Be prepared for this power struggle so that it doesn't come as a surprise, and understand how crucial a good scolding (dressing down) is in establishing your control as the top.

Any power struggle should be won by the adult during this phase. If you cannot win the power struggle during this step of the punishment, then it's time to consider negotiating with the bottom in private or dropping the thread altogether.

(Note to bottoms: It's not wise to make this struggle such a disaster that you wear the top down. Use common sense!)

Step Three: The Decision

The purpose of "The Talk" is to reach a conclusion on what the punishment is going to be. For most spanking role players, this is where things really begin to heat up. This step should take as few as two and as many as eight posts (back and forth between top and bottom) during which the sentence is handed down and the implement of punishment is procured.

This is the point at which I would strongly encourage tops to begin using their "trigger words." Up to this point the punishment has been a theoretical exchange. At this point it is about to become a literary reality for the role players involved in the scene, and while many role players enjoy the warnings and scoldings (sometimes as much as the punishment itself), this is where the scene begins to heat up.

My advice is to personalize the spanking. Force the bottom to take ownership of it. Identify the punishment as "your spanking" and have the bottom retrieve "your hairbrush" to be applied to "your naughty bottom." If using another type of implement, the top should identify that implement as belonging to the top in some way or another. "Daddy's belt," or "Mommy's wooden spoon." These little personalizations are very appealing to the majority of role players, and add quite a bit of detail.

If you wish to describe the implement, this is the pre-spanking period in which you will wish to identify details about it. Is the belt worn from use? Thick leather, wide cut, or thin and narrow? Is the hairbrush heavy with a long handle, or is its face convex and small? How old is the implement you're using? Has it been passed down through the generations?

When the bottom has been sent to fetch an implement, she should be the one responsible for describing the implement, but if she fails to do so, you should take over this part. Your partner will appreciate it!

Bonus Step: Cornertime

While I don't recommend that this be a go-to disciplinary strategy for all top characters, corner time can enhance the spanking scene by adding an additional element. Each character is (and should be) unique, so this should be used selectively and should be done with additional, personalized elements. 

Should the bottom be required to remove the clothing and underclothing before standing in the corner? Should the hands be placed on the head in order to provide more exposure? Does the top character scold during this corner time, making sure to send the message home to the bottom? Is the bottom required to stand straight without wiggling or potentially incur further punishment?

These little details can make a good spanking scene great!

Step Four: The Spanking

This part of the punishment is the star of the show. Anyone who has participated in spanking role play already knows that this is what the majority of age players are posting for in the first place. It is the reason for all bratting, the source of quite a few problems for discerning tops, and it is where both you (as the top) and your role play partner (the bottom) are going to find true chemistry and potential compatibility. 

At this point, I'll be breaking this process down into phases of a spanking. While there (will be) another article detailing these phases, I would like to point out that this is broken down into those phases because each phase should take exactly two posts: one from you and one from the bottom.

I must reiterate at this point that the chief goal is to keep your energy up for this phase. No matter how bland and boring the bottom is (and most are!), your job is to keep your energy high and to try to draw that energy out of your bottom.

Spanking, Phase Zero

Get the bottom into position. This should probably include the removal of at least part of the bottom's clothing (at least the outer clothing covering the buttocks, but potentially also the undergarments or even stripping to nudity depending on your preference and that of the person you're writing the spanking for [the bottom]). In most cases, you'll want to give the bottom the opportunity to remove his clothing before doing the job for him. If you do it for him, it's more humiliating, so knowing your partner is critical. Someone who prefers a lot of humiliation may prefer not to be given the opportunity to do it themselves.

Note that if the bottom refuses to do it the first time and you must do it for them, that potentially adds another post to this phase -- that's okay. Both this phase and the last phase may take longer in terms of the number of posts just due to establishing the part of the scene.

Once the clothing has been appropriately adjusted, move the bottom into position. At Birchwood Isle, we have a relatively long list of positions, but "over the knee" is a favorite for many role players. 

You may also choose to remove the undergarments once the bottom has moved into position, bending over something or has been placed into the diapering position. This allows for more privacy, but can also be more embarrassing for the bottom, and puts you in control.

It's up to you how much control you wish to take with the removal of the clothing.

This is also the phase of the spanking during which you should secure your bottom. Restraint may be necessary to keep him in position, so make sure to hold him down across your lap or to put a hand on his back if you are using a bent-over position, in order to ensure that your bottom doesn't do a lot of moving around. While some wiggling may be fun, restraint is an added trigger (in a good way) for most spanking role players

At this point, if your bottom puts up a lot of resistance, contact your roleplay partner to find out what's going on. If your talk phase was successful, a realistic bottom character shouldn't resist much.

Spanking, Phase One

Begin the spanking.

Now that you have the bottom in position (whether over your knee, bending over or on her back with her legs drawn up in diapering position), it's time to begin the spanking. I do not in any way recommend using a "warm up" unless you are role playing an erotic spanking, since the "warm up" defeats the purpose of a punishment and it unbalances the phases significantly. 

At this point in a spanking, the bottom will (if she is playing realistically), be resigned to being spanked. She will probably have already decided that she can make it through this, that she's too big for spankings and that it isn't going to hurt that much. It's a rationalization that allows the bottom to get into position at all. I encourage bottoms who are reading this to adhere to this convention, since it works well for keeping the spanking going energetically. 

Use this time (as a top) to work on calibrating the spanking. Since the bottom is resigned and determined that the spanking isn't going to hurt all that much, you can spend a bit of time determining how hard you have to spank in order to get a good reaction from the bottom. Start with light swats (and be descriptive! How far are you swinging your arm, or are you just using your wrist? How much is the skin coloring, and how much does it jiggle when you strike it?) and then progress to stronger swats.

This is best done in a single post. The bottom player should be able to adjust, and this allows them room to use more words to describe the reaction to the progressing spanking, as the skin begins to warm up and actually feel the sting. That way you lead nicely into phase two.

To reiterate, at this point the top should be working up to a nice sting. The bottom's skin should be beginning to develop a nice pink, but if your character stopped now, the skin would return to a white complexion almost immediately.

Spanking, Phase Two

At this point, the bottom character should actually be feeling the sting of the spanking. Your character (the top character) should begin to spank a bit harder, taking advantage of the building sting. Really own this part of the spanking by using faster spanks or harder spanks and covering a wider area of the buttocks. Continue to be descriptive about color and the "bounce-back" of the implement (or your character's hand) on the bottom's buttocks, sit-spots or thighs.

This is the first time that I would suggest having your character dip down to the sit spots or the thighs. Up to this point, focus on the fullest part of the bottom, and make sure to state what part of the buttocks or thighs you're swatting. Don't leave this open to interpretation, as it can be very annoying to have your partner decide you were spanking the thighs when you envisioned that you were spanking the fleshy part of the buttocks.

Toss in some nice trigger words when referring to the bottom. "Tender flesh" or "sore bottom" are nice touches, since you can safely say that the flesh of the area is tender and that it's going to get sore as you continue to spank it.

Note that by this point the sting should be building for the bottom, but the flesh won't be hot yet. If your partner is following my guide to writing a better spanking thread, he should be considerate of this fact. It's becoming painful, but it's not unbearable yet. Before you're finished, it will be unbearable, and that means that you need to leave your top character with room to increase the intensity of the spanking. 

Don't shoot your wad just yet. Keep some of the harder and more painful swats in reserve. Always have an ace up your sleeve. Don't strike the thighs yet!

Pro Tip: You know that the next phase is going to be particularly harsh: One of the harshest during the whole spanking. Add some extra restraint by applying increased pressure to the bottom's back or perhaps locking down the arms and legs in preparation for the real thrashing that's to come (from the bottom, if he's following my guide for him).

During this phase, you also might want to continue the scolding that you started before the spanking began. Bearing in mind that the bottom probably won't be listening once the pain mounts too much, you want to make use of the time that he's still quiet to talk about the reasons he's in this position. Keep using the strong trigger words and make sure to be as specific as possible to add to the embarrassment of the situation.

Spanking, Phase Three

At this point, the bottom is actually in some real pain. Her backside is heating up and is probably beginning to turn a darker shade of pink. Use these details to your advantage in your description. When a smack lands, the color is beginning to turn a medium to dark pink now, and you won't see the fading to white, but a fading to a paler pink than you had before. The bottom is probably clenching quite a bit in an effort to control the pain.

If your partner has read our guide on how to write a spanking: bottom edition, she will probably be squirming during this phase of the punishment, trying to get away because the pain is getting to be more than she can handle. She'll struggle, and you're going to have to restrain her. You might have taken care of this in your last post, but if you haven't, this is the time to grab a flailing arm to pin to the small of the back, or to lock in the legs to prevent a lot of kicking. Alternatively, you may enjoy the struggle, and if so, should leave the bottom free to kick and flail.

This is the period of the spanking during which you want to be the harshest. Spank harder and faster (preferably both at the same time) and make sure that you have a good rhythm going. You may wish to take two posts to accomplish phase three by going down to the thighs on the second post to give a good, rapid tattoo there in order to encourage the bottom to stop squirming so much.

Keep talking, even though the bottom is for sure not listening at this point, since she should be screaming and squirming too hard to hear what you have to say to her. Cover the entire bottom, from fullest part of the buttocks, down the sit spots, and down to the thighs.

During this phase, you're breaking down walls. You're trying to get the bottom to submit to the top, so lay it on fast, heavy and hard to make sure you accomplish this goal.

Spanking, Phase Four

If the bottom is following the phases of a spanking, he should be having an all-out fit during this phase. This will be his greatest fight, his greatest fit of temper, and your job is to quell that temper. Spank harder, and use the spanking to punctuate any lecture that you happen to be handing down during the spanking process. Get a few good, hard whacks in on the backs of the thighs, and don't be afraid of the sit spots during this phase! Your goal is to make the fight stop, and to make a final, strong impression on the bottom.

For the top, this will continue through the same pattern of hard, aggressive spanking while the bottom works through the next two phases of the spanking. Tops should continue to spank very hard while the walls come down and the bottom begins the process of surrendering. Continue this until you reach the point of surrender (phase six for the bottom).

I personally think that it's important to keep a steady rhythm at this phase of the spanking if you're going to get good results, though it may vary by character. Keep in mind that changing it up too much during this phase could result in confusion on the part of the bottom and you could find that you've set the process back.

Use this time to describe the way that the bottom is coloring. If you have a harsh adult, the bottom should be going from pink to red during this phase. Describe this, along with the flesh's physical reaction to the impact of your implement.

Spanking, Phase Five

The bottom has surrendered now. She is probably laying limp over your lap or is nearly collapse if bent for the spanking, and she is sobbing. This phase cannot come until the bottom is clearly broken down, crying hard, and at a loss for words. If she's still arguing with you or putting up a fight, then she hasn't reached this phase yet. Only proceed when you're sure that you've reached surrender.

At this point you should begin to slow down. Use your words, lecture or scold hard, and spank harder, but much, much slower. Focus on the sit spots and on the backs of the thighs, and use the swats to punctuate the verbal message. 

When you're done spanking (and you should finish in this phase), a few lighter taps are appropriate if using a wooden implement, particularly if they are applied directly to sore spots with strong coloration. 

This is your final chance to describe the color of the flesh during the spanking. You'll get more opportunities, especially if you use an after-spanking cornertime for your bottom.

Step Five: Cool Down

Bring the bottom back from the spanking with a brief "cool down" period. Not to be confused with aftercare (which is step six), this time period brings the bottom back to reality until he is ready to stand up from the position that he was in during the spanking.

Rub the bottom's back and maybe the buttocks or thighs (if you're comfortable with that) until he comes back to the reality of the current situation and is ready to proceed with corner time or affection. Be gentle and encouraging.

This step should not be skipped, however tempting it may be. During this time period, you'll be bringing the bottom back to reality. You must allow them to recognize that the spanking has ended and that it's time to proceed with whatever comes after. In most cases, we recommend skipping post-spanking corner time and proceeding with after care, but you should always write your post for your character and not to our preferences!

Bonus Step: Cornertime

Corner time after a spanking is a good time to give the bottom time to think about why he had to be punished in the first place. This is best done with the well-spanked bottom entirely bare.

Depending on your character, you may wish to observe the bottom and comment on the state of the backside for added humiliation, or you might want to use this time for extra scolding. 

This step is by no means necessary. It can be used independently or with the pre-spanking corner time as well.

Step Six: Aftercare

Arguably the most important step in the entire spanking ritual, aftercare is not something that should be skipped. Some tops don't enjoy this part because they don't desire to connect emotionally with the bottom, but aftercare is something that will help to ease the bottom back into the normal flow of daily life.

It is highly suggested that tops consider getting the bottom something to drink during this time period. Realistically, a bottom may become dehydrated during a punishment because of crying. A drink (water in particular, but also electrolyte solutions) will help to maintain hydration and avoid the bottom from developing a dehydration headache later.

Provide comfort to the bottom using hugs, words of support, and perhaps wrapping the bottom in a blanket for comfort. You may wish to allow younger children to thumb-suck or otherwise self-soothe. Younger child characters and even some teens may fall asleep after a punishment. Spankings can be exhausting, and this is a good way to wrap up the thread!

Make sure to also use encouraging words. "You did a good job," or "You're so brave!" are pleasantly triggering for many bottoms, and make a wonderful ending to an emotional thread.