4 Reasons we Discourage Cliques

Sometimes I think that the language we use at Birchwood Isle can be a bit confusing for potential members, and we might be chasing some people away. For that reason, I want to be as clear as I can. We discourage cliques, but encourage people to come to Birchwood Isle with their own roleplay partners. We don't believe that having a committed role play partner (like Ava and I have one another) means that you are automatically a part of a "clique."

As long as you continue to role play with other members, pairs do not a clique make.

The problem isn't two people who enjoy role playing together. The problem is the exclusion of other members. Everybody wants to be included when they join a roleplay group, and Birchwood Isle strives to make sure that everybody can find a place with us for their inner kid.

We discourage cliques for the following reasons: 

1. Cliques prevent new members from getting involved. If two or three members team up together and only post with one another, those two or three people may prevent new members from having anyone to role play with by focusing on one another's threads and being unwilling to provide stimulating plots to involve them.
2. Cliques lock characters into relationships with no outlet. In general, a clique locks the characters belonging to the clique's members into relationships with one another and prevent them from maintaining or obtaining outside relationships with other characters. This is harmful to the group and also to the individuals.
3. Cliques don't serve the group, only individual members. It's important on Birchwood Isle that all members contribute to the overall culture of the group. When members clique with one another, no member of the clique actually contributes to the group. The characters ultimately take up space.
4. Cliques make people feel passively bullied by exclusion. Most of the people who come to ageplay groups such as Birchwood Isle have at some point in their lives experienced trauma. None of us need to feel bullied all over again when we aren't "part of the group." Cliques make people feel bullied by pushing them out of the group.

Our staff has made a commitment to include everybody. You should receive a personal message within two days of acceptance from one of the staff members with plot suggestions to get you started. 

Please do bear in mind, however, that you should be reaching out to other members with plots as well! To take us up on this opportunity, please...

Join Birchwood Isle

Preference vs. Discrimination: What's the Difference?

Recently we were forced to ban a member we liked in part because of discriminatory behavior by this member. Thanks, in part, to this situation, we created a Diversity Policy for Birchwood Isle which lays out what we allow and what we don't allow in terms of discrimination against any group on our site.

On Birchwood Isle, we don't allow anyone to discriminate against anyone else for any reason. So while it may be an unpopular point of view, you cannot refuse to role play with a character for being straight, or white, or male, or wealthy, or cisgender, or any number of things.

You are permitted to have a preference in your role play! Some people prefer to role play with female adults, and some might have a preference for adopting female children. These are preferences, not discrimination. We highly recommend that you keep these types of preferences to yourself. Talking openly about preferences that exclude particular groups of people can be triggering to some people and is generally offensive to nearly everyone on Birchwood Isle. Elect to play with men instead of women if you want, but try not to post in your plot page (or other people's plot pages) that you don't want to role play with women.

If your preferences become discriminatory -- that is to say that if you prefer one group over the other so much that you cannot play with a particular group -- then that is discrimination, and this isn't going to be the right group for you: You'll be in violation of our discrimination policy.

Discrimination is the prejudicial treatment of a class of people based on such things as gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. The key word here is prejudicial. 

If you choose to judge an individual (let's say my character/inner adult Josh Tanner) based on his gender (cismale) or his ethnicity (Samoan) without taking the time to learn about Josh as an individual, this is discrimination. 

While we understand the sexual nature of ageplay, and that your own orientation and preferences may relate to your preferences in a group such as ours, we also believe that inner kids are people too and that we cannot allow members to pick and choose people to play with based on discriminatory practices, policies, and behavior.

So you may prefer to play with women, but you may not refuse to play with men. 

If characters of a particular gender, race, or sexual orientation "trigger" you, let us know up front. We may be able to make accommodations, but more likely than not you'll find that this isn't the group for you.

9 Reasons to Make Birchwood Isle Your Next Ageplay Home

If it's somehow not yet clear, we love Birchwood Isle! So does every member who has been polled on the subject, with a unanimous 5/5 star rating from our members. Clearly we have something going on that you can't find anywhere else on the internet, so what is it that makes Birchwood Isle unique? Why should you consider making it your next ageplay home on the web? 

Here are just a few reasons.

1. We're inclusive. Birchwood Isle has a place for people of all preferences, whether you want discipline or sexuality in your role play or you don't, whether you like to play little kids, teenagers, or adults, whether you are an exceptional writer/role player or are just starting out, whether your character is an emotionally-real inner kid or one of our canons. We are accepting of everyone who can follow our basic rules!
2. We provide every (inner) child character with someone to play with. Even if you choose to play a biological child in a canon family waiting for parents, your child character will always have at least a teacher and a doctor to interact with. Every child on the site has at least one adult in his or her support network. Child characters in foster care will be assigned a social worker, guardian, therapist, physician/pediatrician, and a teacher. Birchwood Isle doesn't ignore your inner kid!
3. We're personable. I've written before about the community at Birchwood Isle. Unlike most ageplay groups of our type, we have an ongoing out-of-character chat (via chatbox in the sidebar of our site or above the main board for guests). Our members are welcoming and personable, and most of all always anxious to talk to guests and new members! You won't find another site in this genre capable of greeting you the way you'll be greeted at Birchwood Isle!
4. Everyone plays together. We actively encourage our members to play with one another by using events to reward people for plotting with other members and planning threads with them. Our goal is to foster an environment in which members get to know one another personally and care for one another and one another's inner families. No environment is altogether clique-free, but we put every effort into making sure that everyone has a roleplay partner!
5. We have great events. Every month Birchwood Isle hosts a minimum of three events. Each of the three group foster homes on the island has an "activity night" which we play out monthly for those interested, and we also have community-wide events for everyone to participate in. Those participating receive an award for doing so (see below). Most months we also have an out of character event to encourage people to plot with one another.
6. Everybody loves awards! My co-administrator is a wonderful artist who creates graphic awards for the members who participate in the events and involve themselves in the contests. Who doesn't like getting an award added to their trophy case when they do something exceptional on the site? These are usually added monthly, though sometimes we get a bit of a back-log, since we like for them to be unique!
7. We encourage our members. Each week we post a "Weekly Encouragement" to lift up our members and to show them how much we appreciate them. These are words of encouragement for those who might be needing it, and also a way for us to point out areas where we'd like to see some particular character groups filled in. Members then have the opportunity to reply with their own form, to encourage one another or the staff!
8. Our characters are diverse. Though it's rare in ageplay, Birchwood Isle has a diverse cast of characters! They come from every race, many ethnic backgrounds, several genders (binary cisgender, binary transgender, non-binary and gender fluid), most sexual orientations (including asexual, demisexual, homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, and bisexual), and socio-economic backgrounds. We truly are diverse.
9. We won't pressure you to play an adult. While we do encourage our members to make adult characters (and play them), we aren't going to force you to play an adult in order to take on another child character. You may play as many children as you want without a requirement to play an adult. Our files often say that we would like to see more adults and teenagers, but we don't carry any ratios unless absolutely necessary!

If you need one more reason, we'd love to have you at Birchwood Isle! Nobody's going to pressure you into being something you're not on Birchwood Isle, and we only ban for two reasons: Predatory behavior and discriminatory (racist or sexist) behavior. We're happy to have you with us!

Metagaming, Power Playing, and God Mode

In role play, you may hear any one of these three words often: Godmod (Godmodding), Powerplay (or Powerplaying), and metagaame (metagaming). They are sometimes used interchangeably, but the truth is that each of these words has a different meaning. 

I'm going to begin by explaining the first of these words, since it is the most commonly used, and it is used incorrectly by the vast majority of people. "Godmod" is an incorrect term. The expression is Godmode, which refers to the god mode in video games that allows the player to not suffer damage or death and to therefore be able to complete the game without the usual obstacles.

Many role players (and administrators) use this term to refer to moving another person's character as well as your own. This is an incorrect definition of godmode, which actually refers to making your character invincible. In "God Mode," your character never takes a hit.

To use an example in age play, let's say that an adult is wrestling with a naughty child who is fighting the sound spanking that they richly deserve. The child is thrashing and struggling and kicking and flailing. In order to avoid taking a fist to the face or a foot to the chin, the adult enters "god mode" in order to not take any damage.

In traditional literate roleplay, this is verboten. "Godmodding" is to be avoided at all costs. In ageplay, however, god mode is sometimes necessary in order to prevent the child/innerkid/little/bottom from overpowering the adult and ruining the thread.

Power playing is the next term that I'd like to address.

This term is, once again, often mis-used or over used. Power playing refers to your character making contact with another person's character without giving them the opportunity to block that contact.

Power Play is harder to explain than God Mode, but allow me to give you an example from ageplay again: You are playing a child character playing with another child character, and a fight breaks out between them. Your character is upset, and being young and out of control, reaches out and smacks the other child. This is power playing, because your character successfully hit the other character without giving that player the chance to have her character dodge the blow.

In ageplay, adults (guardians and parents, otherwise "spankers") must rely on power playing in order to accomplish the simplest of desired tasks, such as spanking an errant child. Without the privilege of power playing under these circumstances, a spanking thread would go something like this.

John (Daddy)

John attempts to smack Jamie's bottom with the palm of his hand.

Jamie (Son)

Jamie squeals as Daddy smacks his bottom!

John (Daddy)

John attempts to smack Jamie's bottom again.

There are people who role play like this, but it's not desirable. A good spanking post (in brief) could look more like this:

John raises his hand and brings it down crisply on Jamie's bottom, reddening it where his hand fell. He pins his son down and continues to spank hard, finding his rhythm and ignoring his son's protests. 

In the second case, John (appropriately) power played Jamie's character by saying that the spanking actually made contact with Jamie's body.

The third term that we're addressing is the most complicated: Meta-Gaming.

As to its roots, this term cannot be broken down into the sum of its parts, so bear with me as I attempt to explain both definitions.

Some people use the term "meta-gaming" to mean a character reading the mind of another character through narration.

For example, if Peggy says (but does not say) that she is thirsty, Donny is "meta gaming" if he mentions her thirst in his post.

At Birchwood Isle, we use the term "meta-gaming" to describe one player moving another player's character.

For example, Donny metagames Peggy by saying that she takes a drink of water because she's thirsty.

At Birchwood Isle, we allow limited power playing in order to facilitate spanking.

Metagaming and God Mode are strongly discouraged on Birchwood Isle.

Reasons not to Rush Your Inner Kid at Birchwood Isle

Every age player I know has been there at some point or another. You're new in a group, and everything seems to be happening around you. Being new makes you nervous, and you're worried that if you aren't careful, you're going to be overlooked by the people who are "in charge" in the group. You have to do something to get noticed. Eager to get it right, you weight your options, and you probably decided that you have two or three possible options for dealing with the terror of going unnoticed.

1. You could make a thread in which your character acts like a brat, forcing an adult to pay attention because somebody needs to punish him.
2. You could have a "crisis" in which your character becomes injured or is triggered by some activity that requires adult attention.
3. You could wait it out and hope that somebody notices you, but since previous experience tells you nobody will, you revert to option 1 or option 2.

Most groups are short-lived, lasting a matter of weeks before vanishing into the ether. Those that last rely on quickly-formed bonds between characters who then post almost exclusively with one another, leaving new members out of the loop and without anyone to create threads with.

In short, new members often have to take what they can get, when they can get it, and they often resort to using extreme behaviors to solicit a response from an adult. After all, you never know how much time and how many chances you're going to get to accomplish your main goal with a character (and specifically an inner kid). If you're only going to have one thread in which to express your character's feelings about his or her past, you have to do it quickly.

It's very typical in groups for existing players to exclude new players in favor of their preferred "clique.' If you're new, or if you're not part of the "in" crowd, your threads get dropped, your inner kid gets ignored, and nobody joins the open threads that you post. 

I'm the owner of Birchwood Isle, the one who pays the bills and who curates the site, and I cannot count on one hand the number of times that I have rushed into misbehavior for attention, or that I've pushed a "big reveal" in order to get adults to focus on my inner kids. It's happened to me, and not just in groups with frequent neglect, but in my own groups, when I'm not sure how long it's going to be before I have to move on to being the parent again (which can, admittedly, be stressful).

But here's what I've learned (the hard way), and the reason that I rush less often than I did before.

It's better when you take it slow.

I've talked about this before, and I will continue to hammer this home until every last person on Birchwood Isle understands it. 

We're not going to shut down next week; We've had a forum for Birchwood Isle (though it's moved a couple of times) for three and a half years. Ava and I are both very active and we both play plenty of kids, teens, and adults. We make a point of being available to you if you request a thread from either of us, and we commit to playing our character true to him or herself. In spite of our massive numbers of characters, each one is unique to the others and you'll get a different experience with each one of them.

Most of all, we're reading, and we're listening, and we're remembering. If you state, in one post, that your inner kid hates green beans, trust me when I tell you that we've either remembered that he hates green beans or we know that we should cross-reference dinner threads to establish which food it is that he hates. If you've said in one post that your character was locked in a closet every time she cries, we'll remember it and be able to apply this memory to the interactions with that child.

There's no need to rush information. That's why there isn't any application. Give it to us slow and steady, feed us a diet of your character and make that diet a rich one, full of little secrets revealed slowly, and not only will you get better results, we will crave threads with your character.

But what about spanking? What about those of you who are spankos who want nothing more than a good, swift kick in the pants? How do you go about getting that without "rushing things?" 

How often have you acted out in an arrival thread, knowing that it might be the only chance you're going to get to be spanked because after that, the adults aren't paying attention any more? Trust me, we get what it's like to want the catharsis so bad and worry about not getting the next one!

We're not like that. Give us a chance and we'll show you. Our adults notice things like (ADULT PLEASE) after the title of a thread. We're scanning threads to see where adults are needed and entering them appropriately. We're fully prepared to give you detailed spankings that you'll crave for the rest of your role playing life, if you let us. 

But if you push, we're not going to want to follow through. Take your time and enjoy the ride. We'll still be here next week as long as you're here next week.

We only ban predatory individuals who make it clear that they are interested in non-consensual situations or that they are interested in minor children (in real life).

Top Tips: How to Find an Adoptive Family for Your Inner Kid

Whether you're new to the age play community or you've been a part of it for many years, the same pressing question bothers most bottoms: How do I find a family for my inner kid? 

While this article is geared toward members of Birchwood Isle (in conjunction with the original posting if our adoption policies), it applies to anyone in the ageplay community who is looking to find a family for their inner kid. These tips should work whether you are trying to be part of a biological family or trying to get adopted in a foster care group.

Members of Birchwood Isle are asked to please read this thoroughly and keep these tips in mind. Potential players will of course be interested in what this has to say, but I wish for people in both groups to understand this first and foremost: We're going to find a family for your inner kid, if you work with us. Unless you fight us every step of the way, or don't want your inner kid to be adopted, we will find an adoptive family for you.

1. Don't ask someone to adopt you. I know that this is incredibly difficult for most people, but when you ask someone to adopt you, you apply pressure to them to say "yes," even if they aren't comfortable making that commitment.
   
   
   Pro Tip: Instead of asking someone to adopt you, open a dialog with them. Ask them what they're looking for in a child they might want to adopt, ask about their discipline policies, and invite them to talk to you about what they want. When you make it about them and not about you, you get better results.
   
   
2. Avoid bratty behavior. While we acknowledge that most of our members are eager to get punished (since that's one of the main themes of our game), bratty behavior (such as hiding out to smoke pot, or running away from home, or shouting obscenities at random) makes your inner kid less desirable, and potential parents are less likely to adopt children who they see as "bratty."
   
   
   Pro Tip: Instead of acting out with the deliberate intention of getting in trouble, try some natural behaviors. A young child is generally less likely to be disrespectful toward adults than a teenager is, but may talk back when she hears something she doesn't like. A little boy is more likely to leave the grounds because he's chasing a rabbit than he is to leave because he's angry with his foster parents. Make the behavior make sense, if you want to get adopted! 

   
   
3. Post a lot. This should go without saying, and our "one thread per kid at a time" rule may make this seemingly difficult, but in any group you encounter, you should be able to post frequently and broadly. Don't just post with adults, find peers to role play with, learn to enjoy different combinations of characters. Play with characters of both sexes, maybe try non-binary genders, kids, teens, adults, teachers, social workers, therapists and other caretakers. Show off how great your kid is so that people will want to adopt him.
   
   

   Pro Tip: Threads between two children often lead to disciplinary measures needing to take place because they often degenerate. This is a natural way to get the spanking you came to the group for in the first place, without appearing bratty. Taking time to get to know other kids could ultimately get you the very thing you first wanted from your roleplay partner, so you wind up killing two birds with one stone! Even better, adults reading threads looking for kids to adopt will see how friendly your inner kid is and may want to adopt him!
   
   
4. Attend site events. This might mostly apply to Birchwood Isle, but if your group has events, the same thing works: Go to the events. Post in them. Make yourself available to the adults who may be looking to adopt. 
   
   

   Pro Tip: Talk to a number of adults at events, if available. Don't focus only on the one that you're already determined that you want. Try not to misbehave and to get in trouble at these events, as punishment is time consuming and disruptive and doesn't allow you to make the most of the time you have. Our events only last one month, so that time is limited.
   
   
5. Be patient. I know that this is hard. When I introduce a new inner kid character, I'm already ready to see that character get adopted into a loving family. It's not always possible for a child to be adopted straight away in a group, so you have to be patient.
   
   

   Pro Tip: Make the most of the time that you spend waiting, by making friends and maybe enemies, and getting to know what all the site has to offer. Every site should have something incredible to offer you as a player, and you can use this time wisely to get to know the group.

4 Reasons to We Promote "Relationships First" at Birchwood Isle Spanking Roleplay

Birchwood Isle is different than most typical "ageplay" roleplaying groups you've probably encountered. Some groups allow their inner child members to act out and get spanked immediately, then move on to the next misbehavior and the next punishment. We refer to this as "bratting" (yes, a verb), or as "being a brat." The problem with this wording is that it doesn't matter how terrible the bratty behavior is the person playing the brat doesn't see the behavior as bratty. Believe me, I've seen this time and again, and there's nothing more infuriating than telling somebody to please stop attention-seeking only to have to clean up the pieces of a wounded player who didn't think they were doing anything wrong.

So we've dispensed with this impractical language. Spanking role plays are always going to have their fair share of people who want nothing more than to get to their next spanking -- and quickly. Hey, I get it! I like having my characters get spanked by my role play partners too. I'd be lying if I told you I had no interest in punishment in the role play.

Instead of discouraging bratty behavior, we've started to encourage our members to focus on the relationships that their characters are building through the spanking role play. We do this for some very specific reasons, and it's getting us great results from our players. Why? 

Let's talk about it!

1. The punishments you get from a character (adult) who cares about you are a million times better than being punished by a character who doesn't like you. Many age players enter into a group hoping to get spanked soon after (or even during!) their arrival post. At this point, your roleplay partner (and their character) hasn't had enough time to get to know you and to become invested in making the thread good for you. In fact, intimate physical contact with your character may feel inappropriate to your partner.
2. Some players are uncomfortable punishing somebody they haven't gotten to know yet. Remember when you first joined a group and you were nervous about making mistakes or getting it wrong? The person playing your adult probably feels similarly, and doesn't want to jump right into a thread where they have to punish. Taking the time to get to know the other character eases this tension a bit and builds trust.
3. A strong relationship provides a better chance of "successful" discipline for both the adult and the child characters. If the goal of a punishment is to get through it so that you can move on to the next punishment and get spanked again, then you're getting into trouble for the wrong reasons and you're not enjoying those spankings as much as you think you are. A strong bond means it's more likely that you won't rebound into another quick fix.
4. Adults are more likely to cuddle children they've bonded with, and nearly everybody wants to be cuddled after a spanking. The majority of people who come to Birchwood Isle want to be spanked -- and provided with the cursory after care when the punishment is over. It can be awkward for an adult to provide physical comfort to a child they don't know well and don't have feelings for. A bond ensures that the adult is more apt to provide that comfort.

Is going from one quickie to the next easier than building relationships for you? Or do you prefer to put the time into bonding with your partner? Have you ever seen the benefits of taking your time?