Inner Kid Connection: The Sensitive Inner Child

As I've stated in a previous post, inner kids are sensitive. If you do have, or have had, or have known someone who has an active inner child, you've probably already noticed that they are sensitive creatures.

This is because inner children are usually born from trauma in our lives. At some point, each of us was hurt and an inner kid grew out of that pain. They are in some ways blocks of emotions to which we assign personality and (if we role play) a back story intended to support their personhood as a character.

Roleplays like Birchwood Isle treat inner children as though they are characters. If we look at a "character" as a creation in the mind of a writer (or even an actor) then we run the risk of treating inner kids as though they are two-dimensional strings of words on a screen or a paper. This might be acceptable in other role play settings, but in an age play group, we have to treat one another with greater sensitivity than we would if the characters were two-dimensional and not damaged pieces of ourselves.

Most of us remember to treat our own inner kids with care, but it's easy to forget that another person's inner kid is as important as our own is. Today I'd like to admonish everyone reading to consider every emotionally real inner they find as being as important as their own, and do not hesitate to treat them with the same respect with which you'd like to be treated. Every one of these "characters" is born from trauma, abuse, or abandonment, and they have a right to be sensitive.

This is a good time for me to stress that it is especially important to understand why Birchwood Isle asks that each of the inners on our site (whether child, teen, or adult) be able to rely on their "keeper." Some people refer to this as the "big," but since we recognize that adults have their place in our mental universes as well, even they should be able to rely on us to keep them safe from the bad things in the world.

No world is perfect: Not even Birchwood Isle. I don't think that we'd want it that way, because I believe that in order to heal, the world has to be a natural one that makes sense to the people who live there. But when conflicts arise, you must be able to care for and protect your inners. 

Nobody else can do this for you, but we should attempt to be forgiving, generous, and gentle with one another to help fill that gap.

Residential Quadrants on Birchwood Isle

We envision Birchwood Isle as a quaint and homey small town spread out over roughly half of a privately-governed island in the North Atlantic.

The inhabited half of the island is divided roughly into four main quadrants: The Northern Isle (middle class), the Eastern Isle (upper classes), the Southern Isle (farmlands, ranches, and homesteads), and the Western Isle (lower classes). Originally the Western Isle was devoted as reserved lands for the Piper clan, but that has since changed. 

Recently we've altered the way that we handle the class system on Birchwood Isle (something which will come up soon in one of our Weekly Roleplay Tips, so watch out for it!) in order to encourage people to branch out and make some more unusual selections for their characters. The Eastern Isle has begun to grow too much and we'd like to divert some of these characters into other social classes.

It's difficult to categorize people, and so we've generally filtered people into residential areas at the request of the players. this results in a large number of "wealthy" characters and fewer "poor" characters. We wanted to make things more interesting, so we've further divided these quadrants into two halves each.

From now on, it will look like this:

Upper Class (wealthy) residents will live on the Eastern Isle where it borders the coast and the Northern Isle. This means that some of these residences will be "beach front" while other residences in this section will be set into the woods. Homes in this quadrant will have spacious lawns with larger home buildings. No home will be within shouting distance of its neighbors, and these homes will always be single-family homes (i.e. no condos, townhomes, or apartments in this area).

On the forum, look under Eastern Isle for the Upper Class forum. Your character must either be in the government or have a high-profile, high-income career in order to live here.

Upper Middle Class residents will live on the Eastern central island, closer to the town. This means that the residents of this area have easier access to the town areas and to work. Most of the families housed in this area have at least one working adult in them, and these adults may work higher-profile jobs or simply higher-paid jobs. Homes in this area resemble upper middle class neighborhoods in the United States. These homes are generally in the half-million to million dollar price range (for comparison to American homes). Townhomes and a wealthy apartment complex is provided in this area of the island.

On the forum, look under Eastern Isle for the Middle Class forum. Your character's job must meet income requirements in order to maintain a home in this section. Speak to an administrator before declaring an Eastern Isle family.

Middle Class residents will live on the Northern Island in the wooded area where it borders the Eastern Isle. This area spreads from the woods all the way to the town. These homes are closer together, much like a suburban area in the United States. Neighborhoods are compact and closely knit. Residents of this area generally have good jobs as shoppe or restaurant managers and may work in finance. Apartment complexes and middle class townhomes are available in this area.

On the forum, look under Northern Isle for the Middle Class forum. Your character's family must have at least one adult working in upper management or finance in order to have a home in this area.

Lower Middle Class residents will live on the Northern Isle where it borders the Western Isle. This area spreads back into the woods and stretches to the border with the Western Isle and the lower class areas. Homes here have smaller lawns to keep costs down, but they are still generally very well kept. Residents of this area generally work in lower management and/or have two adults per family working. Two apartment buildings provide inexpensive housing for small families or couples.

On the forum, look under Northern Isle for the Lower Middle Class forum. Your character's family must have at least two working adults in order to have a home in this area. Consider an apartment for single adults.

Working Class residents will live on the Western Isle where it borders the Northern Isle and the beach. This area covers a small amount of land, as there is such a small segment of the population of Birchwood Isle that fit into this wealth class. Homes here are small and compact, and a trailer park dominates much of the land here. Anyone preferring to live in a mobile home will ultimately make their home here, regardless of social class. There are no apartment buildings here: Residents must choose cottages or trailers.

On the forum, look under Western Isle for the Working Class forum. Your character must either belong to a family with low-paying jobs or desire to live in a trailer or trailer park. Please consider your preference of home carefully!

Piper Clan residents will live on the Western Isle where it borders the Southern Isle. This area is reserved specifically for the Piper Clan and no other residents may live here. The clan is played primarily by the administrative team, so this is not an area you'll need to worry too much about. Pipers live in small cottages and occasionally trailers without much organization to their homes. Strangers are generally unwelcome on this part of the island.

On the forum, look under Western Isle for the Piper Lands forum. Your character must be a Piper or adopted into the Piper clan in order to live on this part of the island. Not all Pipers have to live here. 

Homesteaders will live on the Southern Isle where it borders the Piper Lands. This section has been carved out specifically for those who are running small, private homesteads. Properties in this area range in value and size, but many are less than five full acres of land. Families may be dependent entirely on their own homesteads for food, and homesteads may include animals and crops. 

On the forum, look under Southern Isle for the Homesteaders forum. Your character's family must be a homesteading family in order to live on this part of the island. He or she may also hold down a regular job.

Farmers and Ranchers will live on the Southern Isle where it borders the Eastern Isle. The homes here are spread out, the houses generally large, and the acreages huge to provide food for the families on the island as well as to provide livestock animals and meat. Horse and cattle ranches are abundant with one or two sheep ranches scattered throughout. These people provide most of the food for the island.

On the forum, look under Southern isle for the Farms and Ranches forum. Your character must be a farmer or a rancher in order to live on this part of the island. At least one adult must actively farm or ranch the land in order to remain here. Farmers and ranchers may treat their home as a business and hire on additional staff. Include this in the family profile!

Inner Kid Connection: Your IK is OK. Mine is Too

Ageplay is full of differing philosophies on whether or not sexuality should be a part of play and engagement, about whether or not physical punishment is okay for inner children, about whether or not inner children are the product of our imaginations or a mental illness. Questions and uncertainties plague the community, and so I would like to lay one important thing to rest:

All inner kids are "okay" in our book.

I'm comfortable with sexuality in age play, prefer discipline in my age play, and understand that my inner kids may be the result of trauma (I'm adopted) but that I do not have the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder.

Your mileage may vary, and that's okay!

What I would like to establish at this point is that it is not okay to imply that another person's inner kid is "wrong" because she is different from yours. Preferring a relationship without discipline (or physical discipline) doesn't make you in any way superior to someone who thrives on discipline and who feels more comfortable where it is present. Non-sexual ageplay doesn't put you into an elite class of people who are "better" than the rest of us who enjoy sexuality as part of our experience.

We work very hard to make everyone comfortable. Birchwood Isle does permit sexuality and physical punishments on the site (within reason). Our site does not, however, allow people's limits to be broken simply because one person desires something the other does now.

When discussing your inner children (or inner child) and your preferences for him or her, it's essential that you communicate with inclusive language. To say "Nobody should spank an inner kid! That's abusive!" implies a superior attitude as opposed to those people who prefer physical punishment in their age play relationships. 

Your preferences are okay. So are mine.

Your IK is OK. So is mine.

The Roleplay Cycle and Its Effect on Inner Kids

There has been considerable discussion at home lately about the way that I run through cycles in my hobbies and interests. I'm not depressed: I'm always interested in something; Sometimes the thing I'm interested in isn't role play. I think that these cycles are normal for most people because you can see them throughout the role play community, on forums, on Tumblr, in every genre. 

Most of us seem to cycle through these phases together, which means that the role play community will have fewer good, strong groups during the "purging periods" and more good, strong, serious groups during the "binging" periods. A third and forth phase of the cycle complete it, much like the lunar phases. Our interest waxes and it wanes, with periods of fullness and periods of darkness. Surely Ava and I aren't the only ones who experience this phenomenon.

Recently I've had to express my apologies to several of our members, because I'm in the purging part of my cycle, obsessed with music and reading and less with posting and character creation. I work hard to keep up, but there are times I simply don't have the time with everything else that I have going on.

What I wanted to talk about was the way that these purge cycles affect my inner kids. It seems to have the opposite effect of the one expected: They appreciate the time to come out of their shells in the real world and engage in the hobbies that we share with one another. Some enjoy the music lessons, others dig deep into books I wouldn't otherwise read, and most of them try their hand at blogging now and again.

The inner kids around me, unfortunately, suffer. Mine do just fine with these "purges" but the kids I'm taking care of tend to suffer while I work through to keep the balance. This is why I often choose not to adopt other people's inner kids, so that I don't have to worry about their suffering abandonment when I cannot, or do not wish to, post on Birchwood Isle.

I'm already coming out of it now. Some of this cycle was brought on early by situations beyond my control but which happened on Birchwood Isle. It's getting better now, and I'm hoping to get some things done shortly. 

Please don't be afraid to join us, and don't be afraid of your own cycles, either!

Weekly Roleplay Tip: Plot in Public

Who's ready for a weekly roleplay tip of the week? We also do these in our Wednesday Weekly Encouragements for those interested in reading more from us. There are effectively two weekly tips every week!

This week's Saturday Roleplay Tip comes to you thanks to several incidents that we've had on Birchwood Isle. I won't belabor the point, but the tip still stands.

We encourage our members -- and members of other ageplay groups -- to plot in public, particularly when it comes to pairing up inner kids with potential parents.

While we understand that most of you exchange contact information and plot in instant messengers or even over the phone or text messages, we discourage this behavior at Birchwood Isle and therefore prompt every member to create a "Member plot page" which allows all members to plot with all characters belonging to a specific member without having to hunt down individual plot pages.

There is no way for us to enforce this matter with our members, and therefore we rarely press the issue unless it becomes a problem (as it has in the past). 

However, we strongly encourage our members to make sure that their plots are posted somewhere that the staff can review them in case of a disagreement or problem. If someone comes to us to tell us that the plot isn't going the way that they had planned with their partner, it is much easier for us to make things right if we can see the problem!

On Birchwood Isle, we ask that you create a plot page for your inner kid or inner adult as soon as you get a chance. If you wish to plot with a staffer or another person with a multitude of characters, please make the effort to use our member plot pages to get in touch with us. Obviously personal and instant messages are tempting, but we suggest that keeping things in the open helps the staff to help you!

Weekly Canon: Marcel Juneau

Marcel Juneau is the seven-year-old brother of 

Dominique Juneau of Birchwood Isle. He attends 

BWI Elementary, where he is a second grader.

His Nationality is American. He is currently open.

Who is Marcel?

Marcel is the little brother of new arrival (to the island) Dominique Juneau. When the American social services threatened to take him and his sisters away from their brother (well-known to be a homosexual), big brother moved the two younger siblings onto the island where they would be safer. He's never known a father other than Dominique, and often calls his brother "Dad" instead of referring to him by his first name.

A sweet and cheerful little boy, Marcel struggles to understand his sister's mood swings or the dark history of his parents' past, and so he avoids learning anything more than what's necessary. It's easier for him to lose himself in a fantasy world than it is for him to engage with his sister's fascination with what happened to their parents (who were lynched).

He's popular with his peers and is getting along just fine in spite of the fact that some of his peers point the finger at him because of his brother's odd behavior or his sister's fanatic rantings. Marcel is almost always in a good mood, and it's hard to bring him down!

Who Should Play Marcel?

The best player for Marcel is somebody who can handle the family's (very triggering) history with sensitivity. He's a little black boy born in the south whose parents died brutally. As far as anyone knows his parents were murdered because they refused to discourage their elder son from dressing like a girl. There are a lot of issues at play here, and the right player will understand these issues and be able to handle them with sensitivity. Experience playing boys is helpful, but not required.

Why Would Someone Want to Play Marcel?

He's different from most of the other canon characters that we have on offer at Birchwood Isle. For starters, he's "mundane" (meaning that he's entirely human), but he's also a part of an unusual family situation in which his elder brother is the custodian. The older brother is currently played by me (Devin). 

The family drama is interesting and should give you a lot of plot points to get started, as well. You won't have any trouble finding people to play with Marcel, as he fits in with our largest age group at present on the island. He will also be assigned a social worker due to his unusual family situation.

How to Claim Marcel

If you are interested in playing Marcel, the first thing that you'll need to do is create an account on Birchwood Isle. We highly recommend that your first account username be your alias, as this will give you an "out" in case you change your mind about the character.

For canon characters, we will then move you into a user group that will allow you to create a "plot page" for Marcel. Once this has been completed, we will complete his profile for you and approve your account so you can see the rest of the board!

You may wish to reserve Marcel when you first register, to make sure that you get the full seven-day period to finish his plot page. To do that, go to the Juneau Family Page and request him there. We'll take care of making sure his name is crossed off on the list!

4 Reasons we Discourage Cliques

Sometimes I think that the language we use at Birchwood Isle can be a bit confusing for potential members, and we might be chasing some people away. For that reason, I want to be as clear as I can. We discourage cliques, but encourage people to come to Birchwood Isle with their own roleplay partners. We don't believe that having a committed role play partner (like Ava and I have one another) means that you are automatically a part of a "clique."

As long as you continue to role play with other members, pairs do not a clique make.

The problem isn't two people who enjoy role playing together. The problem is the exclusion of other members. Everybody wants to be included when they join a roleplay group, and Birchwood Isle strives to make sure that everybody can find a place with us for their inner kid.

We discourage cliques for the following reasons: 

1. Cliques prevent new members from getting involved. If two or three members team up together and only post with one another, those two or three people may prevent new members from having anyone to role play with by focusing on one another's threads and being unwilling to provide stimulating plots to involve them.
2. Cliques lock characters into relationships with no outlet. In general, a clique locks the characters belonging to the clique's members into relationships with one another and prevent them from maintaining or obtaining outside relationships with other characters. This is harmful to the group and also to the individuals.
3. Cliques don't serve the group, only individual members. It's important on Birchwood Isle that all members contribute to the overall culture of the group. When members clique with one another, no member of the clique actually contributes to the group. The characters ultimately take up space.
4. Cliques make people feel passively bullied by exclusion. Most of the people who come to ageplay groups such as Birchwood Isle have at some point in their lives experienced trauma. None of us need to feel bullied all over again when we aren't "part of the group." Cliques make people feel bullied by pushing them out of the group.

Our staff has made a commitment to include everybody. You should receive a personal message within two days of acceptance from one of the staff members with plot suggestions to get you started. 

Please do bear in mind, however, that you should be reaching out to other members with plots as well! To take us up on this opportunity, please...

Join Birchwood Isle